BEDA 7: Writer's Block

So, as the author and famous video blogger John Green once said, "writer's block is just a different kind of not trying."
This had never occurred to me before I heard it, but now I absolutely, 100% agree.
I don't believe in writer's block. It doesn't exist.
Here's the thing: what do you mean you have writer's block?
Just keep writing.
Not sure where the story is headed, what you want your characters to do, feel like you've written yourself into a corner and there's no way out? Just keep writing. Or delete all the progress you made that put you in said corner. Either way. Those are your two options.
I think I just don't really understand how writer's block could ever exist as an actual thing. Whether you're having trouble with stringing individual words together, or making something specific happen in a scene, or you feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the project itself, the answer is always to just try harder. I've often heard that sometimes you have to write six pages to get one good page, and I've often found that the one page worth saving is the sixth page you write. It's all about getting into a flow, and simply saying you're stuck and refraining from writing all together will never fix that.
I think maybe a different kind of writer's block would be that you just don't have anything to write about at all. You want to write, but there's just nothing there. It's "blocked." Well, in that case, what's the point? If you've got nothing to say, why try so hard to say it?
Maybe you're not a writer at all. Had you ever considered that? That there are people who are and people who are not writers? Here's how you can tell the difference:
If it doesn't demand your constant attention, if you aren't at all times narrating in your head, planning, and considering your writing, if you don't feel overwhelmed and over-burdened by the pressure to write something good and if you don't feel it would kill you to not do it, then maybe you're not a writer. Or maybe you just shouldn't write. Because if you're not driven to it, and if you don't feel this incredible need to get it out of you, then really, what's the point?
As Bukowski said, "The libraries of the world have yawned themselves to death with your kind."
As Bill Hicks said, "Play from your fucking heart."
I understand being stuck. I understand being frustrated. I understand not knowing how to get from point A to point B, or even not really knowing what point B is. But writer's block as some inescapable doom in the process? I don't think so.

BEDA 6: Not Having Television

For over a year now, I haven't had cable in my home. I have a television, but I get no channels on it. And it's great. Absolutely fantastic. Here's why.

1. Everything on Television is Crap
Have you ever seen that episode of The Simpsons where, when trapped inside due to an unjust curfew, Lisa suggests turning on the television? "No Lisa, it's primetime!" Bart pleads, but it's too late. Cut to a show called Don't Go There, in which we get the quick set-up/punchline of a downtrodden man saying "You've stolen my manhood!" and the confident nail-filing woman of the 90s retorting "That's petty theft." This to me is a prefect synopsis of 90% of everything on TV. Stupid, low-brow garbage that makes me cringe when it attempts to make me laugh.
And yes, I know I used a television show to make this point, but it's different. I watch The Simpsons box sets. Which leads me to my next point.

2. Everything Good on Television Can Be Watched Somewhere Else
How much do you pay for TV every month?
Your answer doesn't matter. Any amount is the wrong amount.
We live in an age where absolutely all forms of visual entertainment can be accessed, for free, on the internet. Literally anything. So why are you paying $50 a month for bad programming that you can't even control? The Internet is only $30 a month, and it is the actual, real-life equivalent to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Oh, you don't know what that is? That's probably because you watch TV instead of reading books.

3. Television is a Vaccuous Blackhole of Thought
The only reason I ever miss TV is that it's literally the easiest thing ever. If you're tired or sick or in a bad mood or just bored, you can sit down in front of the TV for, oh, the next 8 hours or so and zone out. I'll admit, that kind of convenience can't be topped. But, in the long run, I don't really want that kind of convenience. I'm not saying you have to read a book or go for a jog or something. I'm just saying that at least when you watch a movie on Netflix you have to pick the movie out. You have to make a decision of some kind. You can't just flick through the channels aimlessly, watching two-minute bites of entertaining footage for hours on end while your mind makes no choices and you absorb nothing.
In fact, I came across a similar product recently, and I had to cut it from my life completely. Do you know what Stumbleupon is? Because if you like TV, you'll love Stumbleupon. But that's for a different blog.

4. No Commercials
Well, not a lot of them anyways. Hulu has commercials and so do some Youtube videos. But that's about all the commercials I see. You know what I like? When someone tries to start a conversation by saying "Hey, have you seen that one commercial..."
Nope. I haven't. And I'm glad I haven't, because this does not sound like the kind of conversation I want to be in. Let's talk about something else. Anything else besides devious and creatively-bankrupt short films that were designed to make me want to buy things.

My point is simple. Not having a TV in your home is cheaper, less brain-rotting, and more convenient in that when you do decide to sit down in front of a glowing box, you will watch more programming that you want to watch with less commercials.

Or you can keep watching "How I Met Your Mother." Whatever.

BEDA 5: The Arm Gun

Ever realize that you only have fifty minutes to write a blog before the day is over during the month that you promised to write a blog everyday?
Probably not.
Alright, so I just watched Mystery Science Theater 3000: Laserblast, and I was going to write a review of the movie to squeeze this blog in real quick, but I realized a few things that made me deter from that idea. One: If you want a full and excellent criticism of said movie, just watch the MST3K. Two: There is a larger social criticism to be made here: the arm gun.

Arm guns are amazing. Arm guns are universally accepted as being the most badass thing ever. Why? I don't know, but it's true. A gun attached to your arm in place of a hand is so undeniably sweet that you see it everywhere. You see it in Final Fantasy VII via Barrett, you see it in Laserblast, and you see it in 9 year old me.
That's right. When I was about 9 years old (or 11, or 13, I don't know) my dad had a roll of carpet in the basement about three feet high with a hole in the center just big enough for me to insert my arm and pick it up. This served as the undisputed best gun in the history of my imaginary gun games. Suddenly I was transformed from a kid with a plastic gun into a force to be reckoned with. A three-foot long gun on my arm was the perfect weapon of ultimate destruction. Half kid, half machine. Half killing machine, that is. With this giant gun, I was unstoppable in my own imagination, and it was a toy/carpet roll that I cherished more than all of my cap guns and Nerf guns put together.
I just find it interesting that I as a 9 year old, and the writers of Laserblast and Final Fantasy VII (and many more I assume) all independently thought of this amazingly powerful concept. You just can't beat it.
Oh, you've got a gun?
MY WHOLE ARM IS A GUN!!!

P.S. Watch the MST3K of Laserblast, it will not disappoint.
P.P.S Big shout-out to my parents, who made this year's Easter possible and brought out a ham and cheesy potatoes and green bean casserole. Without you guys, I wouldn't have had any leftovers for lunch today.

BEDA 4: Christianity and Paganism on Easter

Another Easter come and gone.
I like Easter because of all the major holidays I think it is the least big of a deal. Thanksgiving and Christmas are typically these big family events with big meals and a lot of tradition tied in. There are routines on these major end of the year holidays that take up your entire day. Family and turkey and football and schedule present-opening. Easter is mostly for little kids. Baskets and egg-painting and all of that good chocolate bunny kind of stuff. Beyond that, I mean, what do you really do on Easter?
Also, Easter feels sort of thrown together, you know, with the whole nonsensical bunny rabbit and painted eggs. It's a lot of imagery coming out of left field that, even as a kid, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. As an adult the whole thing is pretty ingrained, and while it doesn't cause any confusion or raise any questions, it is still impossible to puzzle out logically.
Here's a connection I never made before:
Easter, a Christian holiday, happens in the spring, a time of fertility, which was widely recognized by the pagans. And what is a universal symbol of fertility? That's right: bunnies!
I'm not 100% on all the details, and I kind of don't care. But it seems to me that Christianity said something like "Hey, as a compromise, how about you come over to our religion and we'll incorporate your traditional symbols?"
This is similar to the whole "Winter Solstice vs. Christmas" thing. Where, you know, Jesus's birthday got moved around on the calendar just a little bit to compete with the pagan Winter Solstice.
I don't want to condescend to you like you've never realized this stuff before, I just think it's interesting and I had to bust out a blog real fast in the dwindling hours of Easter.
In other news, I shaved my winter beard today and Lindsay took a series of pictures that led up to the final shave. They feature me with a goatee, a handlebar mustache, and a regular mustache. I laughed a lot.
Now my face is smooth and Easter is over. What adventures will tomorrow hold?

BEDA 3: Final Fantasy XII

I'm planning on using this BEDA thing to my advantage over the course of this month by using it to kill two birds with one stone. So, over the next few weeks you might see some book reviews and video game reviews and other short pieces that I can add to a growing portfolio of work I use when applying for jobs. This will not be one of those blogs.

I'm currently playing Final Fantasy XIII, but I'm not to the end yet, so I don't want to jump the gun and review it before I complete the game and see it as a whole. However, playing this excellent game automatically brings to mind other Final Fantasy experiences. It just can't be helped. Even though the games take place in totally different realities and worlds, major themes persist that tie all of the games together. The summons, the items, and the chocobos really jump to mind. So I've found myself thinking about the other games in the series these past few weeks, and one thing in particular keeps coming back to me:
The overwhelming shittiness of Final Fantasy XII.

Man I really hated this game. Everything about it was awful. The battle system was the first to break away from the traditional turn-based style, and it's like the developers were so heart-broken to be moving away from their classic format that they couldn't muster the strength to come up with a better one. Without any time to consider my actions during battle, I found myself thrown into a fast-paced system with just as many options and menu screens as a turn-based battle. The menus were too long and took too much time to scroll through. Enough time for bosses to pick your allies off with ease. The AI at the time was simply not good enough to take care of itself, and so you have a team of inept jackasses casting the wrong spells and healing the wrong party members. Also, if memory serves, you had to scroll through the menu screens to select spells and items while also moving your character around the actual battle. Do I have two left thumbs, Square Enix? How could you possibly let this past the testing stage?

Also, the characters, the plot, who cares? Everything about this game was lack-luster from the get go. Our story begins in the great kingdom of Vlfnzkdy, who are at war with the Frnkrlvmy. King Zlrmnka and Duke Rzlzslzlby are at battling for the right to control the Hrklmshiroo. Or something like that. My point is, every piece of exposition in this story was abrasive. The names and places were hard to wrap your mind around, remember, or invest in at all. This coupled with bland, washed-out, beige and white scenery made for a game that was impossible to get excited about.

And I don't know who told Square Enix that villains are not important anymore, but someone needs to set them straight. When was the last time we had a major villain worth caring about in Final Fantasy history? 1996? When did VII come out? Because Sephiroth was the last great villain, and this was also the nearly undisputed greatest title in the series. Coincidence? Probably not. Oh, and I suppose if you wanted to, you could count Sin from X as the last great bad guy, but I think that's a little different. He was a giant embodiment of evil so huge and ridiculous that I think he can hardly be considered a villain. He took absolutely no time to create. Villains like Kefka and Sephiroth, maniacs bent on becoming living gods, are the kinds of villains we want in our games. XII joins VIII and IX in failing to do this.

Lastly, my final complaint about XII is that there was actually one mission in which the main character had to run around town proclaiming that a fallen prince was still alive. During this part there was a little meter at the top of the screen that showed you how many of the citizens you had convinced, and you had to reach a certain number before you could move on. How lame is that? I absolutely hated that part of the game, regardless of how short it was, and I think it took little more than that for me to condemn it completely and turn it off, never to be played again.

Anyways, all of these things come to mind for me while playing XIII because I think Square finally got their heads on straight and produced the best Final Fantasy I've played in a long time. The radically different battle system is so improved from XII that, like I said, I can't believe XII was even allowed to be released.

P.S. Writing a blog a day is gonna get hard, everybody. Expect to see me cutting some corners really, really soon. Like tomorrow maybe.